James's Sketchbook
by BorgiaWriter
Summary: Old habits are hard to break. Lily never thought she'd find anything as hard as forgetting her friendship with Severus, something she still hasn't exactly done, but realizing that James isn't who she thought he was might just prove life-changing.
1. Prologue

**Prologue – The Seventh Hogwarts Express**

So this was it. Lily could hardly believe that this moment had come. Until recently, this day had seemed so far away, but here it was. The days had slipped by so quickly since she had received the letter with the Head Girl badge. Where had the summer gone? Seventh year. Where had the past seven years gone?

Lily took her violin case from her father and gave him a one armed embrace.

"I'll miss you," he whispered in her ear.

"You know it's only until Christmas."

"But still…" Mr. Evans gazed at his daughter. "You've grown up so much. Remember the first time we brought you here?"

Smiling, Lily nodded.

"Must we go through the same routine every year?" sighed Petunia. She stood with her arms crossed, looking disdainfully at the Hogwarts Express, her nose wrinkled up in disgust. Last night, Petunia had declared she would not to come to see her sister off, as she had done every year since the first trip to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. And like every year, Lily had pleaded with her until Tuney reluctantly agreed.

"I'll miss you too, Tuney." She took a step closer to her sister. "In June you'll finally be able to come to Hogwarts to see me gradu—"

"And why would I want to go to your freak school?" snapped Petunia.

"Once you—"

Her cheeks reddening, Petunia hissed, "I never wanted to be a freak like you." She no longer met her sister's gaze, nor did she look at the Hogwarts Express. Instead she stared pointedly at the ground.

"Oh, Tuney…."

"Please, girls," said their mother, "let's not reopen these wounds." She embraced her youngest daughter. "Lily, we _all_ love you very much." She kissed Lily's cheek. "I'm so proud of you. Head Girl! I'm so happy you got that letter seven years ago."

"Me too."

"You'd better start boarding the train. We wouldn't want you to miss it," said her mother softly, pulling away. There was a slight tremble in her voice and Lily knew her mother was fighting back tears.

"I love you," Lily said looking from her mother, to her father, and finally to Petunia, who no longer seemed fixated on the ground. Lily followed her sister's disapproving glare to a thin, sallow-skinned boy, already dressed in his Hogwarts robes and standing with his mother.

Lily's heart surged with pain as she watched her former best friend.

Severus and his mother did not hug, nor did they say much. Mrs. Snape only said a few words to her son before he nodded slightly in response and turned to the Hogwarts Express, without looking back.

"Lily."

Her mother's soft voice brought her back.

"I'd better get on," Lily said, picking up her trunk. "I'll write you."

"Goodbye, dear," her father said.

"We're so proud," her mother said, giving her one last hug.

Petunia said nothing. Lily knew better than to expect her sister to wish her well, but nevertheless, Lily couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Wheeling her trunk to the edge of the platform, Lily approached the Hogwarts Express, about to board for her last year. Forcing herself to smile despite her conflicting emotions – sadness, excitement, and nerves – she turned back to her family and waved. Her parents warmly waved back.

Lily then boarded the Hogwarts Express.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it, Prongs," said Peter as he admired the shiny Head Boy badge pinned to James's tee-shirt.<p>

"I still can't believe it, and I was there when he got the letter," laughed Sirius from his seat in the corner of the compartment. "What was Dumbledore thinking?"

"Must not have been," agreed James laughing. "But it's a nice honour."

"It is an honour, and no doubt there was some reason Dumbledore thought you'd deserve it," said Remus. "You'd better not let him regret it, Prongs. The Head Boy shouldn't be going around pulling pranks and getting into trouble."

"Yeah, be a model student and all that," sighed James. "Moony, do you have to make everything serious?"

"I'm just saying—"

James rolled his eyes.

Changing track mid-sentence, Remus said, "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

Reaching into his worn satchel, Remus said, "I brought some Chocolate Frogs. Let's eat them to celebrate James's achievement."

Nodding vigorously, Peter said, "Let's!"

"Hey, Moony, throw me one," said Sirius.

Remus did and missed by a long shot.

Leaning down to pick it up off the floor of the compartment, Sirius laughed and Remus couldn't help but join him. Soon all the Marauders were laughing heartily. Remus had better luck handing the others their Frogs.

"Bollocks." Sirius looked up from his trading card. "I got Agrippa. Who do you have, Prongs?"

"The usual…" James held up the familiar face with the half-moon spectacles.

"I won't trade you, if you don't mind," said Sirius. "I've got at least two dozen of him."

"Mine didn't come with a card," lamented Peter.

"Bad luck, mate," said James. "You can have mine."

Happily, Peter accepted the card from his friend.

"Moony, who'd you get?"

Quickly swallowing what he had been chewing, Remus replied, "Merlin."

"Typical," muttered Sirius taking a bite of his Frog.

They spent the next couple hours catching up on what had happened since the last time they had been together at the Potter Manor just a few weeks ago. Since Sirius and James lived together, it was mostly Peter describing in great lengths the ins-and-outs of his summer job at a café in his hometown. Remus gave a long list of the books he had read.

Checking his watch, Remus said, "James, don't you think we should get ready?"

Lazily, James replied, "No… Hogwarts is several hours away still."

Exasperatedly, Remus sighed. "Have you forgotten the prefects' meeting with Head Boy and Girl at one in the first compartment?"

"Merlin!" James bolted to his feet. "It slipped my mind!" He started for the door.

"Don't you think that badge would look a lot better on your uniform?" suggested Remus.

"Err…. Right." As quickly as he could, James fumbled around in his trunk and pulled out his robes. Before Remus could count to fifty, James was dressed as untidily as his hair.

"Great. Bring something to write with."

His sketchbook and pencil were the first things James could lay his hands on.

"Come on, James," said Remus, an eye on his watch, "Let's not be late."

James straightened up. "Alright. Let's go."

James nearly ran down the train's narrow corridor, leaving Remus trailing behind him. Being late to class was one thing; being late to your first day as Head Boy was another. He nearly collided with several first-years who leapt out of harm's way just in the nick of time. Out of breath, James arrived at the first compartment at 12:56.

"Made… it," he panted to no one in particular. Remus, not as worried as his friend, had long since been out-distanced by James. Trying to muster some composure, James took a breath and flung open the door to the compartment.

A familiar pair of emerald green eyes met his. His heart leapt. "Lily!"

Rising from her seat, Lily said, "_You're_ Head Boy, Potter?"

A girl in the corner giggled.

Face turning slightly red, James said, "Oh, hi, Mary. How was your summer?"

Regaining her composure, Mary Macdonald smiled broadly at James. Her entire face lit up beautifully with the smile. _Though Mary's nowhere near as beautiful as Lily is, even when she's scowling at me_, thought James.

"It was great. My family went down to Dover—"

"So you're Head Girl," said James to Lily, completely cutting Mary off. "That's great. We're Head Boy and Girl together. I always knew you'd make it."

Stiffly, Lily said, "Can't say the same for you."

"Well, I know it'll be hard to fill Frank's shoes, but I think I'm up to the job," said James with a nervous laugh.

"Frank Longbottom is twice the student you are and ten times the wizard!"

"Be nice, Lily."

Returning to her seat next to Mary, Lily said, "I'll take it under advisement, Potter."

The door to the compartment opened and Remus entered. "Hello Mary… Lily! You're Head Girl. Congratulations!"

Smiling warmly, Lily said, "Thank you, Remus. I was surprised, since I wasn't a prefect. I'm so nervous I'll do something wrong."

Remus squeezed her hand. "Don't worry, you'll do just fine."

At that moment the other prefects began to file in, and soon the first compartment, even though it was much larger than all the others, was crowded with the fourteen of them.

"All right…" began James, clapping his hands, "let's get this meeting to order. Um… Welcome. I'm Head Boy… James Potter and this is—"

"I'm Lily Evans, Head Girl," interjected Lily. "It's great to see you here. Some of you are old hat at this prefect business, but to some of you, like Potter and me, this is completely new." She directed her words at the fifth-year prefects who sat perched, nervously. Some even took notes. She smiled. Wouldn't she have been taken notes if she had been there in fifth year? "So if any of you veterans want to add to what Potter and I say here, feel free."

"So… prefects," said James, "your duty is to enforce order. Give detentions and such. Oh, and you patrol the corridors on weekends… and um…"

"You're the model of good student behaviour. The students look up to you, so don't let them down by behaving," Lily glanced at James, "immaturely."

"But, that doesn't mean you still can't have fun. So… I think that's about it…"

Remus leaned over and whispered in James's ear, "Pass around a schedule for corridor duties."

"Oh…" Addressing the whole compartment, James said, "Wait a moment and I'll pass around a sign-up schedule for corridor duty."

James flipped through his sketchbook quickly, passing by his drawings in various states of completion until he found a blank page. He scrawled out a barely legible table of the upcoming weekends with places for the prefects to sign up for. "There… that should serve us 'til Halloween." He held out the sheet to a Hufflepuff fifth-year sitting beside him.

"Seventh-year privilege!" declared Avery as he ripped the sheet out of James's hand.

_Bloody git_, thought James.

"Once you're done signing up, you can go back to your compartments," said Lily, not looking at Avery, who had been glaring at her the whole meeting.

"That was quick," muttered Regulus Black to the fifth-year Slytherin prefect James thought was named Crouch, "they usually last an hour." He glanced over at James and smirked. Crouch laughed.

The schedule was passed around quickly. By the time it got back to James there were only two slots left for Halloween night. "Guess you'll be patrolling with me, Lily," he said as he signed his name on the second to last blank.

"We'll be splitting up. We aren't going to be wandering the corridors together," said Lily, accepting the paper from James.

James looked at Remus and rolled his eyes. Remus shrugged his shoulders. Mary, who stood by the compartment door waiting for Lily, began to hum a Muggle pop song.

Lily stood up. "Done. Potter, I'm going to keep this."

"Why?"

"Because you'll lose it."

Once again, James could feel his cheeks turning pink.

"Let's go, Mary," Lily said, making her way for the door. "Bye, Remus."

"Goodbye, Lily."

Lily didn't even glance back at James as she walked down the corridor and disappeared from sight.

"Sorry she's so hard on you," whispered Remus as he and James left the compartment empty. "But you know that—"

Solemnly, James said, "This year will be different."

Taken aback by James's tone, Remus stopped midstride. "What?"

"Things are going to be different, Moony." Exhilarated, James smiled. He didn't know how, but he knew that this year would be the year that he would get Lily to change her mind. "This year, things will change."

* * *

><p>Weary of his friends, Severus wandered the Hogwarts Express, ignoring everyone, lost in his thoughts.<p>

He could only take so much of Mulciber's rants. The purity of blood could only be discussed so much before it became tedious. Avery was expected back soon, which meant that there would be a discussion of the "agenda". Wilkes, who was a brilliant duelist was made distasteful by his association with his fellow sixth-year Black. Every time Severus saw Regulus Black, he couldn't help but see Sirius Black, so Severus had never enjoyed Regulus' company. The only person he could stand remotely was Evan Rosier. At least _he_ knew when he wasn't wanted.

This year was going to be the same as the last. Schoolwork would be easy, things he had long ago learned. No doubt his friends would expect him to share his answers with them. The Marauders would still harass him. His professors wouldn't know what to make of him. The whole school would hate him. And Lily would still despise him.

Suddenly someone rammed into him. Collisions were not uncommon in the narrow passageway, but Severus could tell that this was on purpose.

Macdonald was laughing.

A curse was on the tip of Severus' tongue, but then he saw _her_ and his heart stopped. Those emerald eyes flashed, as if in warning, and Severus found he was at a loss for words.

"Mary, apologise," said Lily softly, her eyes still on Severus.

Still giggling, Mary said, "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Snape. I didn't see you there."

Severus paid her no attention. "Lily… I…"

"Come on, Lily!" Mary Macdonald whined.

Edging past Severus, Lily avoided brushing against her former best friend to follow Mary.

Severus watched her go. He half wanted to hex Mary, half wanted to shout after Lily, but he managed to regain control of himself, at least outwardly. Inside his heart was racing and his mind was reeling.

"Hello, Snivellus."

"Potter," Severus hissed. "What do you want?"

James smirked. "Oh, Snivvy, you'd better show me some more respect, or I'll have to give you detention."

"You can't do—"

Pointing to the silver badge on his chest, James said, "I'm Head Boy. So yes, I can."

Severus scowled.

"James," began Remus, who Severus noticed was standing behind James, "you can't abuse your position. Snape hasn't done anything."

"He's blocking my way."

"If that's the case," sneered Severus as he pushed past the two of them, "then proceed, your Majesty." Severus did not want to deal with Potter in the least, so he made sure he was out of earshot before James could reply.

He found himself once again at the compartment where his friends gathered. No one welcomed him as he opened the door and took his seat beside Rosier. Severus had not expected them to. _This year_, Severus thought, _things are going to change. I'll make sure of it._

**Author's Notes:** I do not own _Harry Potter_ or any of the characters of JK Rowling's creation.

Let me know what you think of my story by leaving a review!


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One – Inner Sanctum**

The last few minutes of Transfiguration dragged on, but as James glanced up at the clock, he couldn't help but think, _Just a few more minutes, please?_ He knew pleading with the clock was useless. It always was. Still, he couldn't help but wish that the class was a little longer. He desperately needed those few minutes to finish his drawing. He knew that he was never going to get another chance to draw Lily like that – her cheek resting gently on her hand, her wand tucked behind her ear. The light wouldn't be right ever again in the way that it made her hair shine…

He would never be able to finish in time.

Trying not to get frustrated, James set to quickly drawing as much as he could with the four minutes left in the class.

It wasn't that James didn't like Transfiguration. No, in fact it was his favourite class, and he respected Professor McGonagall highly.

Today, however, he had already sat through three lectures about how this year was important. This year he was going to sit to take his N.E.. This year would determine his future. All the professors seemed keenly intent on striking panic into their students. James, however, could care less. N.E. be damned. Some stupid test was not going to determine his whole future.

No work was ever done on the first day of classes. James knew that he had missed nothing by spending Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies and now Transfiguration drawing. By now the professors all knew he spent most of class drawing instead of taking notes – he had never denied it when caught. And, to Professor Bone, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, James Potter was clearly a diligent student who took a lot of notes.

The bell rang.

_Damn_, thought James as Lily stood up and began to pack her bag. He continued to watch as she left the classroom laughing with Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon about something James would never know. Reluctantly, he began to put away his sketchbook and pencil.

"Come on, Prongs," said Sirius. He'd been ready to leave class for the past quarter of an hour. Remus stood beside him, his hands stained with ink from note taking.

"Wait a moment." James slid his textbook into his satchel and stood up, pushing the chair in behind him.

The three of them made their way to the door.

"I'm starting to think Wormtail was right to drop Transfiguration," muttered Sirius as they left the classroom. "The Transfiguration N.E.W.T. is going to be-"

"Nastily exhausting?" suggested Remus.

"Exactly."

James nodded absentmindedly.

"You'll have no problem, Prongs, though," added Sirius.

No response.

Sirius hit the top of James's head with his textbook.

"Hey! What was that for?" asked James indignantly.

"Sirius," began Remus, sighing.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Prongs. It was for your own good." They climbed the stairs to the tower. "You were thinking about Lily too much."

James glared at Sirius.

"Did you finish your picture?" asked Remus, breaking the tension. "From what I saw it was quite good."

Shaking his head, James replied, "Not enough time."

"That's a shame," murmured Remus. "Do you think you could finish it without her?"

"It wouldn't work."

"Oh, well," sighed Sirius. "Guess it's going to be another one of your unfinished masterpieces."

Nodding, James said, "Yeah. It'll be entitled, 'Lily Evans, number 3999, unfinished.'" James laughed.

They arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Apathetically, James said, "Goblin's Foot."

She nodded and swung open, revealing the Gryffindor common room.

"Ah… Home sweet home," murmured Sirius, throwing his textbook on a side table. He sunk into the sofa closest to the fire, in front of which Peter sat.

"How was Care of Magical Creatures, Wormtail?" Remus asked as he sat opposite Sirius.

"Yeah, has Professor Kettleburn lost any other limbs?" asked James.

Sirius laughed.

"Three fingers," reported Peter. "Apparently Mooncalves are very particular about their nicknames. I'd have to say if I was particular about nicknames, you'd all have lost a finger or two long ago."

Even Remus had to laugh at this.

James took out his sketchbook. He turned to a new blank page and began to sketch his laughing friends. Sirius, his head bent back. Remus, his eyes lit up as he smiled. Peter even had that sheepishly proud expression at having made his friends laugh.

By the time James looked up from his rough sketch, Sirius, Remus and Peter had all stopped laughing, and were instead focused on James.

"Let's see," said Sirius, taking the sketchbook from James's hands. After looking at it critically for a moment he nodded and passed it on to Remus.

Remus only glanced at it before saying, "It's not finished."

"Of course it's not. It was only a sketch –" began James.

"It's missing Prongs," said Remus as he handed back the sketchbook.

"Oh, Moony," sighed James. "You know I hate drawing myself."

"You can't have three Marauders. You need all four!" declared Peter.

"Fine, if it makes you happy." With a few strokes James drew a cartoonish head with glasses and messy hair. "There. That's me."

"That's great, James," said Remus.

"Your head looks more like a balloon," observed Peter.

"That'd make Snivellus happy… What's that he always says I have… an inflated ego?" James started to laugh.

Beginning to laugh his bark-like laugh, Sirius said, "I guess he's right, then, mate."

Suddenly, James stopped laughing and threw his sketchbook at Sirius' head.

* * *

><p>This was her spot – her private paradise. Since she had accidentally stumbled upon it in first year, lost in the maze of the castle, Lily had loved this room. It was not a great exception by any means. There was nothing to recommend it as Lily's favourite spot in the whole castle. It was just an abandoned classroom with desks long since vacated and bookshelves filled with cobwebs. There had to have been three dozen or more just like it in Hogwarts, but this was <em>Lily's<em> place.

It was ideal. Few people wandered down these corridors, so she was unlikely to be disturbed or discovered. There was no reason anyone would come within earshot. It was just the right size, so that she could get the best acoustics she could hope for in an empty classroom. In short, it was the perfect place to practice her violin.

Few people knew she came here, and even fewer people had been inside her inner sanctum while she played her violin. Of course, she had given her friends an occasional performance in their dorm room or their compartment on the Hogwarts Express, but she wouldn't dare let them in here. This place was sacred.

She shut the classroom door and approached the chair she had placed on the professor's teaching platform seven years ago. She frowned slightly as she remembered that it had been Severus who had helped her levitate the heavy professor's desk – lectern and all – off the stage.

Never mind that.

She unsnapped the clasps on the violin case. There it was. It gleamed in the golden evening light. Gently as if it were a newborn, she picked up her violin and cradled it on her shoulder. Her fingers curled around the neck, gently brushing the strings. Holding her bow, still white with resin from the last time she practiced, she began to play.

* * *

><p>Severus stared across the Great Hall to the Gryffindor table where Lily sat with her friends. He watched her every move, marveling at how she took a sip of pumpkin juice from her goblet or how she turned her head slightly to talk to Mary Macdonald, a smile lighting up her beautiful green eyes.<p>

_That should have been me. She used to smile like that at me, _Severus thought bitterly. He glared at the two girls sitting beside Lily. Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon had never approved of Lily's friendship with him. They had always looked down on him, not for being poor or from the wrong side of town the way that Petunia Evans did, but for being a Slytherin. He couldn't decide which was worse.

"_Why do you hang out with them?" Severus had asked Lily in the library. They were in third year, still best friends. _

"_They're my House mates, Sev. Why wouldn't I hang out with them?"_

"_I don't like them," he said softly, leaning across the desk. "And they don't like me."_

_Lily arched an eyebrow. "What about the people in your House, Sev? Can't the same thing be said about them?"_

"_That's completely different. I can't stand Avery. Mulciber is an idiot. And Rosier… I'd hardly call him a friend," hissed Severus._

"_But, Sev—"_

"_Lily, they hate me. Your 'friends,'" he practically spat the word, "despise me just because I'm in Slytherin… Yesterday… Oh Lily, you have should of heard them when I came to the Gryffindor Tower." He adopted a high-pitched voice barely recognisable as Marlene's. "'What do you want with Lily? You're just going to hurt her.'" He dropped his imitation. "And do you know what they called me? Do you?" He was now nearly nose-to-nose with Lily. "They called me a Death Eater and said that I wasn't wanted. They told me to leave you alone. Lily, how can you call those people friends?"_

"_They're only looking out for me."_

"_I'm your best friend, Lily. Why don't you tell them that?"_

"_I've told them you're not like…" she paused before continuing, "the other Slytherins. But you have to admit, Sev, you're not helping anyone's impression of you when you call Mary a Mudblood."_

"_But—"_

"_Look," said Lily, massaging her temples, "I don't want to talk about this. We're friends, but they are also my friends. Let's drop the subject now."_

"_Lily, I—"_

"_Sev, please." She looked up at him, emerald eyes shining too brightly. Severus had to look away. It pained him too much to see her on the verge of tears. _

Unclenching his fist, Severus let out his breath as he watched Professor McGonagall approach James Potter. He couldn't help but smirk. _Just one day into term and already Potter's in trouble. Some Head Boy._

He watched intently as James stood up. The conversation lasted less than a minute before James nodded and sat back down.

Severus couldn't help but feel confused.

Professor McGonagall left James and proceeded down the Gryffindor table to where Lily was sitting with her friends, talking animatedly. Once again, the two exchanged brief words and then McGonagall left, this time returning to the staff table.

This would not be the time that Potter would be expelled, Severus realised. Disappointed, he turned his attention to his barely touched supper.

* * *

><p>Lily had only been to the Headmaster's office a few times before. That had been when she'd been reporting to Dumbledore her account of events when the Marauders' pranks had gotten out of control. But this was her first visit to Dumbledore's office in a couple of years. As Head Girl, she suspected it wouldn't be the last. By the end of the year, she would likely have become a frequent visitor.<p>

"Canary Cream," she said to the grim-faced gargoyle who guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office. Leaping aside, he revealed the escalator-like spiral staircase. She stepped on and let the stairs carry her to the heavy oak door. Once on the landing, Lily raised the griffin brass knocker and rapped firmly on the door.

"Come in, Miss Evans," said the soft, familiar voice of the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

She opened the door and slipped into the circular room. "Hello, Professor," she said.

"Please come and sit down," he said from his desk, gesturing to one of two chairs before him. "We are waiting for Mr. Potter."

So James was late. Lily wasn't surprised.

As she walked across the room, she admired the delicate silver objects. Those instruments, so vague in purpose, had always interested her. Every time she came up here, Lily always couldn't help but stare at them in wonder. Such fine work. So exquisite. They had to be ancient, but they gleamed like new in the candlelight.

"Goblin made."

She looked up at Dumbledore.

"That astrolabe was made by goblins four hundred years ago," explained Dumbledore. "All these instruments were made by goblins. They are fine silversmiths."

Lily took her seat. "I had no idea. I thought they worked for Gringotts."

"Ah Miss Evans." Professor Dumbledore laced his fingers together and smiled. "The magic of the goblins would not be satisfied by simply being bankers. There is much to be learned from them."

There was a knock on the door.

"That would be Mr. Potter," observed Dumbledore. "Come in."

James had barely opened the door before he said, "Sorry, I'm late."

"It is no matter. I was discussing goblins with Miss Evans. Do sit down." Once James had taken his seat beside Lily, Dumbledore began. "I usually meet with my Head Boy and Girl within the first few days of the term. And since the two of you are Head Boy and Girl…" He smiled at the two of them, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. "I do believe congratulations are in order. You must have been surprised," continued Dumbledore, "since neither of you were prefects."

"Definitely," said James.

"But I felt that the both of you deserved this honour and were well up to the challenge."

Blushing slightly, Lily lowered her head. "Thank you, Professor."

"Oh don't thank me. I had little to do with making you the outstanding witch I see before me now. You have more than earned Head Girl. Every professor at Hogwarts agreed with my nomination… Professor Slughorn was especially enthusiastic."

Lily beamed.

"And you, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore chuckled. "I would have never have guessed the first time I found you in my office your first year at Hogwarts, for setting fire in the walking suit of armour that you would become our Head Boy."

"That was a good one," sighed James. Quickly, "Not that I'd…" He looked from Professor Dumbledore to Lily. "I've changed."

"Not too much," scoffed Lily.

James wanted to retort, but Dumbledore interrupted him.

"You have shown yourself to be much more than a prankster. A top student, Gryffindor Quidditch team captain for two years winning two Quidditch cups… You have even saved a student's life."

_Severus would not appreciate that in the least_, thought Lily.

"Who else would be Head Boy?" Three Butterbeers appeared out of nowhere, one hovering in front of each occupant of the room. Dumbledore took his mug of Butterbeer and raised it. "A toast to the two of you and your achievements."

James and Lily accepted their mugs of Butterbeer and clinked them with Dumbledore.

After taking a sip of Butterbeer, Dumbledore said, "I trust that you have not found the job too difficult the past two days."

After quickly swallowing, James said, "Not really. Remus has filled me in on the details."

"I am sad to say that that will not continue to be the case." Dumbledore sighed. "Dark days are ahead. I'm afraid that I will have to ask more of you than is usually expected of our Head Boy and Girl." He frowned slightly. "I'm sure you are well aware of the threat posed by Lord Voldemort to the school."

"Is he going to attack the school?" asked James.

"No. I don't believe he would dare to. Not while I am Headmaster of Hogwarts."

"Then what threat—"

"It's his followers Hogwarts has to worry about," whispered Lily. _That day by the lake._ "Mudblood is already too common a word." _The word had cut her to the quick. A stab through the heart._ "You mean there will be more attacks on people based on their blood."

Dumbledore nodded. "I'm afraid so." He looked from James to Lily. "I need you to keep watch on the students. Notice when something is not right. Come straight to me. I do not want you –" Lily held Dumbledore's gaze steadily - "to put yourselves in harm's way. Voldemort's followers will not hesitate to use Dark Magic."

Her heart thumped loudly in her ears. Nodding, she said, "I know."

"I know that I am asking you to act with the maturity of wizards twice your age, but… You must be made aware of the situation we are facing. The wizarding world is under attack, and Hogwarts is not immune. I do not mean to frighten you, but I cannot shelter you. I do not believe that by pretending that this threat is not present, I can protect you."

Weakly, Lily smiled. "It's a good thing you'r Head Boy and Girl are from Gryffindor then."

* * *

><p>James barely listened to Dumbledore as he began to move to more mundane topics. Instead, he watched Lily.<p>

Voldemort's rise to power, which had started before James even arrived at Hogwarts, seemed to have accelerated within the past year. The disappearances were increasing, if the papers were any measure, and attacks on Muggleborns, Muggles and so-called blood traitors had become much more common. Everyone was afraid.

James was afraid, not for himself, but for Lily.

Was she scared? Was she afraid that she would be the target of some Death-Eater-in-training's attack? Would someone try to harm her?

_No,_ thought James, _I will not allow that to happen. I will not let Lily be hurt by a Death Eater. Never._

Lost in thought, James said a half-hearted good night to Dumbledore when he bid the two farewell. He was vaguely aware of standing up and making his way to the polished oak door after Lily. As the stairs descended and they passed by the gargoyle, James tried to think of a way to tell Lily that he would be there for her.

He wanted to take her hand, look straight into her beautiful green eyes and say, _"I'm here for you, Lily. I'll protect you. Nobody will call you a Mudblood ever again. No one will even dare to harm you or think any less of you because of your birth – not while I'm here."_

She would start to cry, thanking him. He would hold her, and stroke her hair, whispering, _"It'll be alright, Lily. I'm here."_

She would tighten her hold, gripping onto him. He would support her. She would look up into his eyes, her eyes shining wet with tears. He would brush them away, lean in close to her and –

"Did you even pay attention?"

Fantasy shattered, James could only manage a sluggish, "Huh?" as reality returned.

Lily was walking quickly, her arms crossed. She had a frown on her face. "Did you listen to Dumbledore?"

"Uh… well… a bit…" stammered James. "But, I…"

"I can't believe you!"

James stopped walking. "Lily."

Turning to face him, she snapped, "What?"

The way her hair fanned out as she turned made James's voice catch in his throat. His heart beat a fast tattoo. "I don't want you to get hurt." His face flushed crimson.

She raised an eyebrow.

"What Dumbledore said… I want to help-"

"In case you haven't noticed, but I've been called Mudblood before. My friends have been attacked, and I've had to block many curses. I've never needed your help before. Trust me, this year won't break me," she snapped. "I can take care of myself, Potter."

If she had slapped him, it wouldn't have stunned him more. He blinked, astonished by her tone.

She started to walk away.

"Lily! I didn't mean it like that! I just wanted to say—"

She didn't turn back.

"I'm sorry!" He sighed in frustration.

She stopped. He heard her take a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.

He hurried to catch up with her. "It came out wrong… What I wanted to say is—"

Turning around, she said, "I know." She stared at the ground.

Relieved that she was no longer mad at him, he reached out and touched her shoulder.

At his touch, she glanced up, meeting his gaze.

_Those beautiful green eyes. Never look away, Lily,_ thought James.

"Promise me," she began.

"Anything." This was it.

"Don't assume that every Slytherin is a Death Eater."

His heart sank. Her words knocked the wind out of him.

Ignoring the devastation in James's expression, Lily continued, her words urgent, pleading, "Please, don't bring someone to Dumbledore unless there's real proof. Not just because they're a Slytherin or because you don't like someone… This is too serious…"

"I know," managed James.

"Especially Se—Snape." Lily lowered her eyes.

"_Only if he behaves himself,"_ was on the tip of his tongue. He opened his mouth, but then shut it. This year was supposed to be different. This year would be the year that… that Lily stopped thinking he was a jerk.

James shook his head. "I promise you, Lily Evans, I will not let my… opinions get in the way."

"Oh." She couldn't help but show her surprise. She had not expected him to agree. She took a step back. Could James Potter really have just agreed to not causing Severus grief? "Thank you," she said quickly. She stared at him.

He couldn't be serious. He was just tricking her. That had to be it. The James Potter she knew would not give up an opportunity like this.

Lily was at a loss for words. They walked the rest of the way up to the Gryffindor Tower in silence. She could scarcely believe that this person beside her was James Potter. But, whenever she looked at him, there he was, not just a figment of her imagination. He didn't look Confunded. And they had been at Dumbledore's office for more than an hour, so that ruled out Polyjuice Potion. This had to be the real James… which meant that… _No,_ thought Lily. _That's impossible._

"Goblin's foot," said James when they reached the Fat Lady.

"You're out past curfew," the Fat Lady said. "Head Boy and Girl breaking the rules."

"We were talking with Professor Dumbledore," said James. "The meeting ran a little late."

"He should know better."

"Spare us the lecture. Just let us in," sighed James.

The portrait swung open, revealing the Gryffindor common room.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said James.

Lily just nodded and watched as he rejoined the Marauders in their customary camp by the fire. _James Potter, you will never cease to amaze me._


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2 – Something to Remember**

Dawn had barely broken when James walked out onto the grounds, broomstick in hand. The chill of coming fall was barely perceptible in this September morning. A light mist came off the lake and clung onto the grass.

"A perfect morning to fly," James murmured as he mounted his broom. Only the silence of the morning answered his whisper.

James kicked off the ground and let his broom rocket up. He was now level with the highest point of Hogwarts. Gently, he tilted his grip, and the broom dove down. He couldn't stop himself from letting out a loud whoop that reverberated off of the castle walls.

He glided over the smooth surface of the dawn-pink lake, so close he looked almost in danger of touching the water.

He loved how the broom responded to his slightest touch. His broomstick always seemed to know James's intentions, even before he realized them fully himself. He only had to lightly adjust his grip, or turn his head slightly, and the broom was already obeying his command.

This was his element. To fly was to be free. Free from worries, from school. Completely content and at peace with the world.

Taking off once again, James found himself hovering above the forest near Hagrid's hut, watching the smoke billow out of the chimney.

_Someday,_ James thought, admiring the way the smoke curled against the sky contrasting with the rosy clouds, _I'm going to have to bring up my sketchbook and some colored-pencils. This is far too glorious not to be drawn._

He could feel that this was going to be a good day.

It had taken a few hours, but Lily had finally gotten the hang of _Moto Perpetuo_. Though she knew there was still a long way to go.

She couldn't quite go at full speed yet. She missed notes, and she had a tendency hold a note too long adding a beat that the composer hadn't included. At least now it sounded vaguely like _Moto Perpetuo_. But, considering how hard the piece was, she was content that she was able to play the melody decently.

If she practiced the piece long enough, with enough dedication, Lily knew that eventually she would get it. _Practice makes perfect. Hard work pays off._ That had been her violin teacher's mantra.

These past few weeks' hard work had paid off. When her father had given her the sheet music as a back-to-school present, Lily had been stunned by all the black notes on the page. She couldn't imagine that she could ever get her fingers to move that fast, let alone play all those notes. Nevertheless, she thanked her dad for the music and promised him she would learn it.

Until recently, Lily had been frustrated by how little progress she had made. In order to get every single note in, she had to play the piece slowly, making it hardly recognizable. Last night she had went to bed determined that tomorrow – today – would be the day that she would finally make some head way.

All last night, the piece had run through her dreams. She was playing perfectly, her fingers dancing on the strings, her bow flying fast. Waking up from the dream, she was determined to practice. So what if it wasn't even light out. Lily Evans was going to tackle the music.

Sneaking out of the Gryffindor dorm unnoticed was rather easy, because today was Saturday after the first full week of classes. Even the Fat Lady was snoring loudly as Lily crept stealthily to her classroom.

Practicing the piece was hard at first. Slowly, she progressed, like before, sometimes going measure by measure. But something was different today. Maybe it was her intense determination to get the piece right, or that she had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before.

Something clicked.

Finally, Lily was no longer playing notes on the page, instead _Moto Perpetuo_ was taking shape. Someday, soon Lily hoped, it would sound just as it had been written. For now, Lily was happy that she had achieved so much, and she hadn't even eaten breakfast yet.

Fingers aching in the sweetly painful way that only hours of violin playing could achieve, Lily brought her violin to her case and put it away. With a loud snap, she re-clasped the case.

Sighing, she gazed out of the window. It really was a beautiful day. The way the bright early morning light shone, just touching the tops of the tallest trees in the Forbidden Forest and the hills, made Lily wish that she got up early every morning just to see this. It would have been perfect except for –

_That stupid broom,_ thought Lily. _Potter's out there flying._

Now she couldn't focus on the incredible morning, but instead, she had to watch as James zoomed over the grounds. He was too distracting. Then again, when wasn't he? He always tried to be the center of attention. Lily never had any doubt that that was a direct result of his – how had Sev put it? – abnormally large ego.

For example, when he had gotten that stupid broom for his sixteenth birthday, he had made such a scene in the Great Hall. He had made everyone at the Gryffindor table crowd around him as he opened the present.

Even though the present was obviously broomstick shaped, James had made a big show of trying to guess what it was, and acted surprised that it was one. Excitedly, when he "realized" that it was a Nimbus 1001, he boasted that he now had the best broom at Hogwarts. Though he was "already the best Quidditch player at Hogwarts" this would make him even better.

Lily remembered rolling her eyes at the whole scene. She stayed behind in the Great Hall as nearly everyone at the Gryffindor table left to watch James take his first flight on the Nimbus.

Now, two years later, Lily watched James fly over Hagrid's hut, "_But then again…_ " she thought "_maybe he had just been excited about getting a professional broomstick. And it had been his birthday after all…_" Lily shook her head.

What was she doing? Defending James Potter?

She sighed loudly.

In light of recent events, she was beginning to think that maybe she didn't understand James Potter at all. He was different, some how.

By this time last year, James had tried to ask her out a dozen times at least. He had given her a pair of earrings as a "welcome back to Hogwarts" gift that whispered his name in her ear. She had thrown them away as soon as she realized it. Then he had confronted her in the Great Hall. And he had followed her everywhere on the second day of classes, swearing he wouldn't stop until she agreed to go out with him. The only way she could get him to stop was by going into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

She remembered sitting there on the floor wondering if James would have been acting like this if Severus were still her best friend. He wouldn't have dared stalk her like this if he knew that at any moment she'd meet up with Severus.

And that was only the tip of the iceberg. Lily could fill a book with all the ways James tried to get her to go out with him sixth year alone.

But this year: nothing.

James hadn't asked Lily out once. He hadn't even dropped any "subtle" hints. He hadn't approached her at all about going out or "spending time together". Absolutely nothing.

She had no idea what to make of it. Maybe he had finally gotten over himself. Maybe he had finally moved on.

Why, she wondered, did that thought suddenly make her feel uneasy? She should have been thrilled, but she wasn't in the least.

Having no clue what to make of any of this, Lily forced herself to turn away from the window and put James out of her thoughts.

James would have gone on flying if it hadn't been for the empty, gnawing feeling in his stomach. It had been a dull ache for some time now, but once it became un-ignorable James decided to head to the castle with his broom, the rushing of wind still echoing in his ears.

As soon as he entered the Great Hall, he breathed in deeply the delicious scents that wafted from the four tables. Eagerly, he hurried to the Gryffindor table.

He hadn't been expecting many students to be in the Hall this early on a weekend, and indeed he was not surprised to see that there were only one or two people at each of the house tables. First years mostly, James noted.

What surprised him was the sight of familiar dark red hair pulled back into a ponytail. Lily sat at the Gryffindor table completely alone tucking into her breakfast.

He slowed, uncertain if he should sit near her or far away. There was no one else at the table. No one was going to sit with him, and none of Lily's friends were any where in sight, even those not in Gryffindor. It was just the two of them.

He couldn't ignore her. It would be rude, James reasoned, to not ask if he could sit with her at the very least. _She can always say no._ James added as an after thought, _Though she'd be bonkers not to._

Convinced that he was doing the civil thing, James took the last few strides so he was standing right beside Lily.

"Good morning, Lily. Fancy seeing you up so early. Do you mind…" He gestured to the space on the bench beside her.

Looking up from her porridge, Lily was silent for a moment, then nodded half-heartedly.

Excitedly, James sat next to Lily.

"Since there's no one else to eat breakfast with," murmured Lily.

All the joy that her consent had given him rushed out as quickly as it had come. Deflated, James set his broomstick down on the table. Refusing to let Lily see that he was disappointed, James forced a laugh, "And here I was thinking it was because of my charming personality."

Lily rolled her eyes. "That'd be the day," she muttered.

"Come on, Lily," said James helping himself to some kippers, "you have to admit that you know that there are some nice qualities about me. Everyone else thinks so."

_So here he is,_ thought Lily, bitterly, _the James Potter we all know and love. The old arrogant toe-rag._ The new James had been nice while he lasted.

Meeting James's eyes, she held his gaze steady. "I wouldn't know. I've only been treated to your bad ones."

Those eyes, normally the source of James's joy and inspiration, now glared at him accusingly. James couldn't keep her gaze for longer than a moment. Instead he stared at his plate. He found he wasn't hungry anymore.

Instead, it felt as though he had swallowed lead. He felt hot, uncomfortable, under scrutiny he had never felt before.

Trying to find words, something, anything to change the subject, to lighten the mood, to stop her from scowling, James thought hard. Normally, he would have easily fixed this situation, but he knew none of his tactics would work. Nothing seemed right.

He had no joke that could remedy this tension. She had hated all of his jokes, anyways, said they were stupid, offensive. He couldn't think of a compliment that could distract her that she hadn't already taken offense at. There was nothing he could think of that would make everything all right.

Defeated, James looked up at Lily, pleading, willing, and wishing that she would tell him what to say.

"Oy, Prongs!"

At Sirius's voice, James tore his attention away from Lily, who was still glaring at him, to the three approaching Marauders.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily stand up quickly. James wanted to tell her to stay, to tell her _something_, but she stole away before he could find the words. Helplessly, he watched her leave the Great Hall, only vaguely aware of his friends settling in around him.

There was something he knew he should have said.

It had been a long time since Severus had enjoyed his weekend. Between pointless assignments for classes he didn't care about and his pathetic Housemates – who always seemed to find him regardless of where he hid – Severus found weekends a distasteful experience.

It hadn't always been this way. For many years, weekends had meant Lily. Hours spent together, without worries or cares, without Potter and his minions, without the girls who Lily claimed were friends, without Severus's Housemates who repulsed Lily so much.

But that felt like such a long time ago. So much had changed since then. That had been another lifetime, another happier lifetime. Now, weekends were something to be survived, not enjoyed, something that was tolerated at best.

This weekend had been no different. After having completed his assignments for the next week, Severus had been forced to "help" Mulciber with his potions assignment. The only interesting thing about this weekend had been the letter Rosier had received from Lucius Malfoy, which alluded to a _something_ that would happen soon. Something big. Something that would be of great interest to everyone. But that shouldn't be expected until sometime in the future.

By the time the dawn lit up the enchanted windows of his dungeon dorm room on Monday morning, Severus was already up, already dressed, already ready to get past whatever this day brought. Severus surveyed his sleeping Housemates. Avery and Mulciber were still fast asleep, while Rosier shifted, as if coming out of a deep sleep. Scowling, Severus left the dorm room and made his way to breakfast.

For sometime, Severus was alone in the Great Hall, enjoying his solitude, but eventually a steady trickle of students began to come into the Hall, getting a breakfast before their first class. The House tables began to fill up, the noise rising as people began to talk over toast and breakfast tea. Not keen on company, Severus stood up, and began to make his way to the exit, against the flow of students, lost in thought.

After leaving the Great Hall, Severus barely noticed the passing of time. In Lily's room time seemed to stand still. The room was suspended moment, a possibility that was timeless. The room looked the same as it had when he and Lily had spent hours – wholes days almost – in this room, _their_ room. Every inch of the room had a memory… every inch of the room was Lily. They had gone here to practice spells, brew potions, to just talk for hours about whatever came up. But Lily had been the one who had given the room its magic.

The sweet song of Lily's violin seemed to still be echoing in the chamber. And if he just closed his eyes, it was as if Lily was standing there before him, playing her violin, as if nothing had ever changed.

Severus knew, however, that he would never again see Lily play her violin, never watch her move and bend, swaying to the music. He wouldn't see her daring grin as she played quickly, her fingers moving up and down the violin, bow gliding back and forth, back and forth, as she held his gaze with her emerald eyes, never once glancing down at the sheet music. He wouldn't see her struggle to put a piece of music together, never see her brows knit in determination, never see that glorious moment when she finally got the most difficult phrase after spending hours trying to play it right.

All he had now was memories. Now, even the memory of the sweetest song became bittersweet, because he knew that he would never hear it played by Lily again, never feel his breath get drawn away, never feel the tender pull at his heart or be uplifted by a poignant leap in the music, or ever again feel his whole body pause in suspense at a well-placed rest in the melody.

Amidst the cacophony of memories, a bell tolled, faint and distant at first, but as the pull of reality crept more and more into memories, the bell became louder, stronger, until Severus found himself once again in the present, alone in an empty room, where no more music was played for him.

Severus hadn't quite yet shaken the lingering effects of memories, before he realized with a sinking sensation that he was late for his class. _I can't believe it. Just like Potter and his friends,_ thought Severus as he began to hurry out of the room and down the corridor. Nearly stumbling down the stairs, Severus began to start swearing, much to the dismay of two passing Ravenclaw girls, who he left behind tittering. Let them talk. Severus had been talked about before, and he could hardly care about what two underclass-women said about him. It didn't concern him at all.

Finally, out of breath, he arrived at the door of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Even though he could hear Professor Bone talking to the class, Severus stood outside the door until he caught his breath. Calmly, Severus opened the door.

Professor Bone stopped talking when the door opened. Severus stood still and stared at the professor.

"I had wondered whether you would be joining us today, Mr. Snape, please," said Professor Bone, "come in."

Scowling, Severus looked over at the classroom, quickly locating Lily in the first row, quill in hand, looking down at her notebook, surrounded by her usual group of friends. Everyone else in the class seemed to be staring at him, but she was the only one not, looking pointedly away. Quickly, Severus took a seat in the second row of seats, where he would be able to see Lily.

"Continuing," began Professor Bone, "where we left off, dueling is likely to be prominently featured on the N.E.W.T. exam that you will be sitting this June, and given recent circumstances, I believe that our next lesson will be perhaps the most important one of the year."

Grimacing, Severus pulled out his notebook, thinking, _'Recent' circumstances, as if this war hasn't been going on since before we started at Hogwarts… _Professor Bone wasn't even that much older than his students, only out of Hogwarts for less than a decade.

"For the N.E.W.T.s you'll be expected to know the history of the Wizard Duel, so we'll begin our study of dueling, with the history of the Duel."

Over his years at Hogwarts, he had had seven professors of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he had disapproved of all of them. There had been Professor Alistair, a former auror who had never taught before and hadn't taught since. Professor Spurling had been so old and senile that no one had been surprised when he died in May. Severus had hated Professor Craigmore, who had taught strictly by the book, which had been published before his mother had been born. Professor Bullock had simply been so incompetent that every lesson had been agony. Severus had thought that things couldn't get worse, but then there had been Professor Snelling, who in addition to general inadequacy had had no ability to control Potter and his friends. Professor Griffin had been a slight improvement, but he seemed to think that N.E.W.T. level students ought to be taught like third-years. It had only taken one class for Severus to decide that Professor Bone was no better than the other six.

_Given the patheticness of our professors,_ thought Severus as he continued taking notes Professor Bone lectured, _it's no wonder that we haven't been introduced to dueling before now. We should have been taught that in third year at least, if not sooner…_ He had started dueling when he was a first-year. _If I were a professor…_ Severus smirked, _I'd teach the students something._

Severus glanced over to Lily, sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, diligently writing down what Professor Bone said. _Not that you need to take notes. You already know it..._ As the memory came back to him, he smiled. She'd been the one who had insisted that they learn, not that Severus hadn't been thinking the exact same thing himself.

The more the class dragged on, the less Severus felt compelled to take notes. He already knew what Professor Bone was saying – more in fact. Severus had annotated the lecture's notes with his own comments, filling in blanks that Professor Bone left. At least Professor Bone didn't leave anything out of his discussion on the process and etiquette of a Wizards' Duel.

A shiver ran down his spine, and slowly, Severus began to be aware that he was being watched. Trying to be as subtle as possible, Severus looked around, trying to see who was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Quickly looking away, _Why am I not surprised?_ Severus hated the feeling of having James Potter's eyes focused so intently on him. He wished that the could hex James to force him to look away, or better yet, make it so that he couldn't look at all. Suddenly, _He's probably planning his next attack… a school sanctioned attack,_ Severus realized. _But I'm a better dueler than he could ever hope to be. There's no way you'll ever win, Potter._

Lily brushed her hair back, out of her eyes, all the while looking intently at Professor Bone as he lectured on, and Severus forgot all about James.

It wasn't that James wasn't excited to begin dueling, and he meant no disrespect to Professor Bone, who so far had proved to be a decent professor and generally a nice man, but James just had no interest in listening to the history of Dueling.

Flanked by Remus and Sirius, Peter sitting next to Remus, James muttered, "I don't care if it's on the exam, I don't think Voldemort's going to ask us about the Dueling Council of 1475 before he tries to kill us."

Sirius grinned, while Peter nodded fervently in agreement. Remus only gave James a brief look before returning to note taking.

Glancing around the classroom, James was struck by a flood of inspiration. _That expression…_ he thought as he flipped through his sketchbook to a blank page, _Hold that expression, Snivellus._

As soon as James began drawing, everything else seemed to vanish. He was no longer sitting with his three best friends. There was no teacher, no class, nothing, except for him and Severus… and that smile. James had never seen that expression before on Severus's face. It seemed so strange, so foreign. James had to capture it forever, or else he'd never believe that he had seen it on Severus's face.

Just as James was adding the finishing touches to his sketch, emphasizing the expression on Severus's face with only a vague suggestion of the man behind the smile, Remus said softly, "You're missing half the picture."

Sitting up and looking at his drawing, James said, "Actually, I like it how it is."

Smiling weakly, Remus looked sadly at his friend, thinking that it might be for the best that James didn't see the object of Severus' gaze.

**Author's Note:** I don't own _Harry Potter_.

Sorry for the long break between updates. I'll try to get the next chapter out a lot sooner. Thank you for your patience.

This chapter is dedicated to my friends who supported me and encouraged/nagged me to finally write this chapter. So, thank you, Brynna, John and Caitlin, you guys are great! And a big thank you to Noam, who beta read this for me.

Thank you for the read. Let me know what you think by leaving me a review! I appreciate any form of feed back.

-BorgiaWriter


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